Meditation is not about building yourself up or trying to be a certain way. It is not about becoming a peaceful person or a wise person or even an enlightened person. In meditation you simply become aware of what is here. You turn your focus back upon yourself and notice what presents itself. If you do this, the ego structure begins to be peeled away. Behind all the desires, distractions, opinions, beliefs, worries and emotions. Behind everything that the mind has built upon itself in order to feel important and in control is something overwhelmingly tender and vulnerable. Even painful. A sense of being very small and alone and all of the fear and helplessness that goes with it. And by survival instinct, you don’t want to feel it, you don’t want to see it. The very drive of the ego is to get as far away from this vulnerability as possible. You want to fit in or at least stand out. Nobody wants to be a nobody. But if you can allow yourself to feel it. If you can surrender and allow yourself to be that small helpless nobody. If you allow it all to be as it is at the very core, then you fall into the essence which is behind it. You become immersed in what is behind it. And that is love, that is peace. You do not have love and peace as though it was an object to attain, you dissolve into it. It bubbles up from your essence and spills into every level of your being because you have let go of the very idea of trying to be a someone.